- What the hell am I doing here? - Not much.
It's like, they're trying to stress me out all over again.
What department are you in now?
It's like some high-tech warehouse with a bunch of carnival freaks.
You can't have fun all your life.
I was good, I was a good buyer.
- We both made mistakes. - You are a mistake.
"Flow Through Your Rage."
Amy, hold on.
I was going to go get a cheeseburger, you wanna catch up?
I don't know what happened to you up there.
You look hotter than ever.
I missed you. Missed the person I was with you.
It just feels so cool,
Just getting to feel like this together, it's been so long, I wasn't expecting...
What are you doing?
You want a bump?
---On est pas des Lumières---
104 : The Weekend
www.u-sub.net www.sous-titres.eu
You don't have to worry about me working at a homeless shelter
'cause I'd be homeless if I took that job.
It's Abaddonn all the way, baby.
Even though nobody wants to talk to me. I don't know why I'm trying so hard.
It's like I've got bubonic plague or something.
Actually, a lot of people are getting sick.
I think a lot of people down there have Asperger's, or...
Whatever that thing is. But, I just gotta go: "You know what?"
"Give in, maybe this is where you're supposed to be".
You know what I mean?
Are you hungry?
Well, this your first weekend back,
since your treatment, so...
Are you gonna go out, or...
I'm not going out.
You could help me in the garden.
This stuff is fabulous!
It's magic.
Yeah, I think I'm just gonna meditate.
All weekend?
When I was at the center, sometimes, like, three times a day, we'd do it.
Why? I mean, what for?
Just to stop the storytelling, Mom.
You know, the compulsive thinking about yourself and your life, just...
Well, good luck.
Thanks.
Slow down.
Breathe.
Relax into my body.
Totally present.
Focusing on one spot.
I see my hand.
I see...
wrinkles.
My skin.
I'm 40.
I'm severely dehydrated.
I need to drink more water.
Relax. Breathe.
Picturing yourself somewhere calming.
Picture...
Picture the ocean...
Water...
I see a river.
I'm walking along a river.
It's the canyons of the Kern. I'm hiking.
I remember this.
Levi's there.
Frankie's there.
I'm pregnant.
It was so beautiful.
I was so happy that day.
God, it all felt so...
so right.
But then...
Then the baby miscarried.
Then the dog died.
Get the fuck away!
Levi started partying.
And cheating.
Since, it ends at four o'clock in the fucking morning!
Then we started hating each other.
The divorce.
And I fell apart.
You know, what I was thinking would be fun sometime?
I was thinking we should go back to the Kern.
You know, just like hiking
and camping and like, being by the river,
or like river-rafting or just like, you know?
- Don't you think that'd be fun? - Okay, well, bye.
- What? - I'm sleeping, okay?
Reservations, this is Rick.
You're there!
I was calling about the kayak camping weekend.
What kind of availability is there?
We actually have an availability for this weekend,
we just had a cancellation.
Well, that's really interesting.
I made a reservation!
It's this kayaking, camping expedition.
They had a cancellation.
And so they said that, like, if we filled this slot
that we'd get half-price, so I just made a quick decision.
The thing is that it's for this weekend.
Hey, Amy, what... I...
I can't fucking go all the way up
to the Kern to go kayaking at this short a notice.
- I can't do it. - The thing is
we have to get there early and it's a long drive,
- so, I'll pick you up about 7:00. - In the morning?
Okay, so I'm gonna see you at 7:00.
What?
What are you doing up?
What do you mean, you told me 7:00. It's 7:00.
- I didn't think you'd be... - You told me to be ready at 7:00.
I'm ready at 7:00. Let's hit it. And I'm gonna drive, okay?
I can drive.
No thanks, I'll drive.
Decaf.
- I got us some healthy snacks, too. - Great.
I'm so excited!
- Hi, I'm Amy. - Halle, nice to meet you.
How are you, I'm Will.
What's up, I'm Will.
Now that you've all become old friends,
let's see what we got here.
You two aren't married, are you?
I didn't think so, the way you're hugging each other.
You two?
- Thirty-one years. - Three kids, one grand baby.
Two mortgages, five credit cards.
What about you two, you married?
I've introduced myself to some of you, for the rest of you, I'm Rick.
I used to write for television.
- Rockford Files, Mr. James Garner. - Oh, you love Rockford Files.
- Kojak. - Oh, great!
They took all my ideas. "Who loves you baby," that was my line.
I did the whole Hollywood thing.
But, that's a special layer of hell down there...
I mean, really sick shit.
So, I'm a poet of the river now.
What we're gonna do is, today we're gonna be kayaking down for a few hours...
Mostly level two, level three rapids.
And, tomorrow we're gonna hit a level four, called, "The Pinball."
- Oh my God, George. - A little bit hairy but...
Hell, you'll all be experts by then.
If we flip and you can only save one of us, save Bunny.
'cause this was his idea.
I'll save you, Bunny. I promise you, I won't save him.
Let's do it!
Should we do it?
Look how beautiful.
Rock!
- They're ahead of us. - Levi, it's not a race.
Nope. Let's pass 'em.
- Excuse us! - Are we racing?
- No one said it was a race. - He is, he is.
You two look like Olympians!
You look great, too!
Well, take a picture, 'cause soon she's gonna look like a drowned rat.
You promised my hair wouldn't get wet!
I lied.
Nose down straight!
Left, left.
- Insane. - Great job!
I was kinda scared.
That was really fun.
My first love,
my husband.
My heartbreak,
my pain.
It feels so easy now,
here.
You're not the cheat and the liar.
I'm not the nag and the shrew.
We're not old,
or young.
There's no bitterness or illusions...
No need for fear, or hope.
We're just spirits, drifting through this...
perfect earth together.
We can be free of our sad stories.
They float away,
until they're like memories of a dream from the night before,
shadows under the water.
And what's left is pure life.
Life is the gift.
C'mon, we're gonna eat.
Good.
- Worked up an appetite. - Good.
- Hey, was it cold? - Freezing.
I heard dinner's ready.
- You're going the wrong way. - Yeah, I'll be right there.
Stop it!
No flashing,
now seriously.
The current's stronger than I thought it was.
Asshole.
- So, you're from Fresno? - Yeah.
- That's a good town. - Yeah, not too bad.
- I like it. - Yeah, it's nice.
You ever go down to San Franci...
- I'll talk to you later. - Okay.
- How are you? - Good.
I'm gonna go grab a sweatshirt.
- I think dinner's ready. - Okay.
- I'll head down there. - Well here's a...
Thank you.
I'm just missing some stuff.
What stuff?
I don't know. Just...
I'm just missing a couple things outta here.
You mean, your drugs?
I dumped them.
Are you joking?
- Are you kidding me? - I dumped them in the river.
- They're gone. - What?
In or near the river?
You shouldn't have brought shit, here, anyway.
It's not a disco, gross.
You got no fucking right to be going in my bag.
What the fuck are you thinking?
Can you calm down? Cause...
How the fuck am I gonna calm down,
when you threw what keep me calm, into the fucking river?
- What the fuck is your problem? - What the fuck is your problem?
- Watch it! - You do!
I did this trip as a fucking favor to you.
- You know that? - A favor?
You're gonna do me a favor by spending time with me?
- Fuck you! - God fucking damn you!
- Is everything okay? - What?
Totally fine, we're just...
Fuck it.
- Ready for some grub, there? - Fucking drug addict.
Listen, Rick, where's the...
the highway at?
It's about a half a mile over that little hill right there.
- You all right? - Oh, I'm great.
Good to meet all of you, I've gotta move on.
- You're leaving? - What's wrong, man?
What's wrong is my ex-wife...
Just threw my stash, my drugs, into the river.
- So I'm fucking leaving. - God!
Oh my god, I'm sorry.
Please?
Amy, leave me alone and I'm serious, okay?
- Leave me alone. - I'm sorry, okay?
Jesus Christ, all right!
I thought this was gonna be a weekend without all that...
What about what I want, Amy?
Do you ever think about that, what I want?
What about that?
What do you want, to just get high?
Yeah, I do! That's exactly what I want to do.
The great news is, I got a guy in town that's gonna hook me up.
Well, that's just sad. What are you gonna do?
Hike a mile to the car?
- I'm gonna call a cab. - I'm coming with you.
- You're not. - I'm coming with you.
You know what I'm gonna do in town? I'm gonna score,
and then I'm gonna get lit.
So if you're okay with that, come along.
I don't care.
Yes, okay, I did this. Just give...
Can you just let me get our stuff,
- a couple seconds? - Go!
Hurry!
Gonna go get some drugs for him...
- It's a good motel? - Yeah, it's a good motel.
Okay, man. Gotcha. See ya.
Thanks.
Can you...
Thank you.
- I got it... - I'll get it.
Right on time.
How's it going? Good to see you.
So, hundred, right?
Thanks a ton for coming up here. I really appreciate it.
Been on the fucking river all day.
Feel better?
You want some?
Sorry, I'm just trying to be polite, that's all.
Just trying to be polite.
That was fun, though, up there. I had a good time up there.
It was nice.
It was fun to, like, be out there,
and like be in the river,
and be in the water, and kinda be out in nature.
It's like I don't do that, I get stuck back in town.
I mean, 'cause remember we had...
taken that trip back up around there.
Right? Remember that?
And that's the same trip remember like...
Frankie had like gotten that bee caught up in his ear, remember that?
Like that bug and he kept kinda like walking around doing that.
And we were laughing, 'cause we felt he knew that we were laughing at him.
We had that jump off that little cliff into the water, remember that?
It was like, we were scared doing it, but then we got down in the water...
We were like looking up at Frankie,
and I started trying to talk him into doing it.
And then he came, like, shooting out over the cliff.
Remember that?
And we were, like, laughing so hard, 'cause when he was in the air...
It was, like, he had his front paws, like, down low...
And his hind legs, like, up in the air and then his ears were like flying up...
And we started laughing so hard, we thought we were gonna sink.
That was really funny. He was a great dog.
Such a good dog.
Pound dog, you know, of course.
How old would we have been back then?
You remember?
Twenty-seven?
Twenty-seven.
Twenty-seven?
That was fun.
You wanna fuck?
You're lucky.
You barely have any wrinkles on your hand.
I'm very, very lucky.
I got you here in one piece.
So, Amy, I need you to do me a favor.
Don't try to save me.
Why?
I can see the way you see me...
And it...
Fuck...
And it makes me feel like shit.
It's just the drugs, Levi.
It's not.
'Cause when I'm sober...
It's all so much worse.
And when I'm high,
there are times when I...
I actually don't think...
about any of it.
And I need those times.
Shit.
You can try to escape the story of your life...
But you can't.
It happened.
The baby died.
The dog died.
A heart broke.
I knew you when you were young.
I know your heart broke, too.
I will know you when we are both old.
And maybe wise.
I hope wise.
I know you now.
Your story.
Mine isn't the one I would have chosen in the beginning.
But I'll take it.
It is my story.
It's only mine.
And it's not over.
There's time.
There is time.
There's so much time.